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About Varied / Hobbyist RisFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Bid To Adopt OPEN by ipann Bid To Adopt OPEN :iconipann:ipann 69 38 MTC | Sunwhisker of LionClan by ipann MTC | Sunwhisker of LionClan :iconipann:ipann 89 19 DOTW | Ava Intro Meme MSE by ipann DOTW | Ava Intro Meme MSE :iconipann:ipann 57 22 mcalu Commission by ipann mcalu Commission :iconipann:ipann 112 3 TGB | Aja White-Shadow by ipann TGB | Aja White-Shadow :iconipann:ipann 196 40 TGB | Follow You To Oblivion by ipann TGB | Follow You To Oblivion :iconipann:ipann 90 6 DOTW | Have A Nice Day by ipann DOTW | Have A Nice Day :iconipann:ipann 136 11 vv } boy, by leefeon vv } boy, :iconleefeon:leefeon 39 1 vv } happy (not so) little cat by leefeon vv } happy (not so) little cat :iconleefeon:leefeon 74 13 +Rana+ by lordmegi
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+Rana+ :iconlordmegi:lordmegi 83 1
My eyes see the will of gods by SaintPumpkinMuffin My eyes see the will of gods :iconsaintpumpkinmuffin:SaintPumpkinMuffin 6 2 Hikira's Gear by SaintPumpkinMuffin Hikira's Gear :iconsaintpumpkinmuffin:SaintPumpkinMuffin 6 5 Hikira Miyamoto | Breim Master by SaintPumpkinMuffin Hikira Miyamoto | Breim Master :iconsaintpumpkinmuffin:SaintPumpkinMuffin 34 19 Jailbird by SaintPumpkinMuffin Jailbird :iconsaintpumpkinmuffin:SaintPumpkinMuffin 4 7 Tiki Headshot by SaintPumpkinMuffin Tiki Headshot :iconsaintpumpkinmuffin:SaintPumpkinMuffin 4 2 3 Devils by SaintPumpkinMuffin 3 Devils :iconsaintpumpkinmuffin:SaintPumpkinMuffin 13 8

Activity


I found out a few days ago that a friend of mine had died. He left his home and was missing for a few days before his body was found in the woods behind his house. It seems that he died by his own hand. And I'm not really sure what to do with that information? It's just really strange, being able to still picture his face and hear his voice in my head, and knowing that he's not here anymore. I don't know if I'm grieving, or if I'm just trying to wrap my head around death (I've never had anyone even remotely close to me die), or if I should even be allowed to grieve. We weren't best friends, and we hadn't even known each other for long. But we were somewhat close. We worked together for the majority of the summer at a job we both hated, and we bonded a lot during our (excruciatingly long) shifts. We vented to each other, and shared a lot of secrets because it was just one of those relationships where you could spill so much and not feel wary. We stayed in touch after we both quit that job, and now he's gone. I knew that he was world-weary, and at a bit of a loss as to where to go next in life...he had money troubles, issues with family, and was having a bad time overall. But he never mentioned suicide, and he did have some plans for the future. He was incredibly thoughtful and much more kind-hearted than you would first assume upon meeting him. He had a great smile that he hardly ever showed. And he didn't deserve to feel so bad that offing himself in the woods seemed like the only option left for him. That's just so desperately wrong and unfair. I'm just really hoping he's happier now, and that he feels cared for...I know he was lonely, and I hope that, wherever or whatever he may be now, he doesn't feel that way anymore. He was good, and I wish I could have done more for him.

P.S. Our old workplace is collecting donations to plant a memorial tree for him and it's nice and all but he hated every inch of that place and he'd probably scoff at the thought of being memorialized there.
I found out a few days ago that a friend of mine had died. He left his home and was missing for a few days before his body was found in the woods behind his house. It seems that he died by his own hand. And I'm not really sure what to do with that information? It's just really strange, being able to still picture his face and hear his voice in my head, and knowing that he's not here anymore. I don't know if I'm grieving, or if I'm just trying to wrap my head around death (I've never had anyone even remotely close to me die), or if I should even be allowed to grieve. We weren't best friends, and we hadn't even known each other for long. But we were somewhat close. We worked together for the majority of the summer at a job we both hated, and we bonded a lot during our (excruciatingly long) shifts. We vented to each other, and shared a lot of secrets because it was just one of those relationships where you could spill so much and not feel wary. We stayed in touch after we both quit that job, and now he's gone. I knew that he was world-weary, and at a bit of a loss as to where to go next in life...he had money troubles, issues with family, and was having a bad time overall. But he never mentioned suicide, and he did have some plans for the future. He was incredibly thoughtful and much more kind-hearted than you would first assume upon meeting him. He had a great smile that he hardly ever showed. And he didn't deserve to feel so bad that offing himself in the woods seemed like the only option left for him. That's just so desperately wrong and unfair. I'm just really hoping he's happier now, and that he feels cared for...I know he was lonely, and I hope that, wherever or whatever he may be now, he doesn't feel that way anymore. He was good, and I wish I could have done more for him.

P.S. Our old workplace is collecting donations to plant a memorial tree for him and it's nice and all but he hated every inch of that place and he'd probably scoff at the thought of being memorialized there.

deviantID

LeBleuAnteater
Ris
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Hi! Please call me Ris, Bleu, or Andy! I'm just a girl who likes to dabble in artwork and the writing of stories...maybe one day I'll get something published!
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:iconamphispiza:
Amphispiza Featured By Owner May 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch, I truly appreciate it! :D <3 
Reply
:iconsecretdartiste:
SecretDarTiste Featured By Owner May 1, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much for the watch! :love: i really appreciate it! :hug:
Reply
:iconnorthernmyth:
NorthernMyth Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+devwatch: :heart:
Reply
:iconshcocola:
shcocola Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017
Haha no problem but would you mind checking out my account too?
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:iconsventine:
Sventine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:boing: Thanks for the fav :w00t: :boing:
Reply
:iconjoshbluemacaw:
joshbluemacaw Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Student Filmographer
Thanks for the fave! :)
Reply
:iconicycreep:
icycreep Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
thank you so much for the watch ;A; it's really appreciated!! <33 
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:iconstoriel:
Storiel Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016
thanks for the watch aaa
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:iconmorarthfael:
morArthfael Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2016   General Artist
thank you kindly for the watch! ^^
Reply
:iconlebleuanteater:
LeBleuAnteater Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome!
Reply
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