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About Varied / Hobbyist RisFemale/United States Recent Activity
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Awesome Con 2017 commission 3 by basakward Awesome Con 2017 commission 3 :iconbasakward:basakward 178 7 Awesome Con commission 1 by basakward Awesome Con commission 1 :iconbasakward:basakward 105 5 Magic Practice by basakward Magic Practice :iconbasakward:basakward 347 10 Bitey-buns by basakward Bitey-buns :iconbasakward:basakward 442 24 Thank you! by basakward Thank you! :iconbasakward:basakward 214 8 Unsung Sirens 23 by basakward Unsung Sirens 23 :iconbasakward:basakward 117 2 Unsung Sirens 22 by basakward Unsung Sirens 22 :iconbasakward:basakward 116 3 Bob and Teddy by basakward Bob and Teddy :iconbasakward:basakward 244 4 MegaCon 2017 commission 17 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 17 :iconbasakward:basakward 110 3 MegaCon 2017 commission 16 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 16 :iconbasakward:basakward 160 3 MegaCon 2017 commission 13 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 13 :iconbasakward:basakward 82 0 MegaCon 2017 commission 10 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 10 :iconbasakward:basakward 96 3 MegaCon 2017 commission 9 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 9 :iconbasakward:basakward 102 0 Unsung Sirens 21 by basakward Unsung Sirens 21 :iconbasakward:basakward 101 1 MegaCon 2017 commission 6 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 6 :iconbasakward:basakward 167 1 MegaCon 2017 commission 5 by basakward MegaCon 2017 commission 5 :iconbasakward:basakward 118 3

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I found out a few days ago that a friend of mine had died. He left his home and was missing for a few days before his body was found in the woods behind his house. It seems that he died by his own hand. And I'm not really sure what to do with that information? It's just really strange, being able to still picture his face and hear his voice in my head, and knowing that he's not here anymore. I don't know if I'm grieving, or if I'm just trying to wrap my head around death (I've never had anyone even remotely close to me die), or if I should even be allowed to grieve. We weren't best friends, and we hadn't even known each other for long. But we were somewhat close. We worked together for the majority of the summer at a job we both hated, and we bonded a lot during our (excruciatingly long) shifts. We vented to each other, and shared a lot of secrets because it was just one of those relationships where you could spill so much and not feel wary. We stayed in touch after we both quit that job, and now he's gone. I knew that he was world-weary, and at a bit of a loss as to where to go next in life...he had money troubles, issues with family, and was having a bad time overall. But he never mentioned suicide, and he did have some plans for the future. He was incredibly thoughtful and much more kind-hearted than you would first assume upon meeting him. He had a great smile that he hardly ever showed. And he didn't deserve to feel so bad that offing himself in the woods seemed like the only option left for him. That's just so desperately wrong and unfair. I'm just really hoping he's happier now, and that he feels cared for...I know he was lonely, and I hope that, wherever or whatever he may be now, he doesn't feel that way anymore. He was good, and I wish I could have done more for him.

P.S. Our old workplace is collecting donations to plant a memorial tree for him and it's nice and all but he hated every inch of that place and he'd probably scoff at the thought of being memorialized there.
I found out a few days ago that a friend of mine had died. He left his home and was missing for a few days before his body was found in the woods behind his house. It seems that he died by his own hand. And I'm not really sure what to do with that information? It's just really strange, being able to still picture his face and hear his voice in my head, and knowing that he's not here anymore. I don't know if I'm grieving, or if I'm just trying to wrap my head around death (I've never had anyone even remotely close to me die), or if I should even be allowed to grieve. We weren't best friends, and we hadn't even known each other for long. But we were somewhat close. We worked together for the majority of the summer at a job we both hated, and we bonded a lot during our (excruciatingly long) shifts. We vented to each other, and shared a lot of secrets because it was just one of those relationships where you could spill so much and not feel wary. We stayed in touch after we both quit that job, and now he's gone. I knew that he was world-weary, and at a bit of a loss as to where to go next in life...he had money troubles, issues with family, and was having a bad time overall. But he never mentioned suicide, and he did have some plans for the future. He was incredibly thoughtful and much more kind-hearted than you would first assume upon meeting him. He had a great smile that he hardly ever showed. And he didn't deserve to feel so bad that offing himself in the woods seemed like the only option left for him. That's just so desperately wrong and unfair. I'm just really hoping he's happier now, and that he feels cared for...I know he was lonely, and I hope that, wherever or whatever he may be now, he doesn't feel that way anymore. He was good, and I wish I could have done more for him.

P.S. Our old workplace is collecting donations to plant a memorial tree for him and it's nice and all but he hated every inch of that place and he'd probably scoff at the thought of being memorialized there.

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LeBleuAnteater
Ris
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States
Hi! Please call me Ris, Bleu, or Andy! I'm just a girl who likes to dabble in artwork and the writing of stories...maybe one day I'll get something published!
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:iconamphispiza:
Amphispiza Featured By Owner May 2, 2017  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you so much for the watch, I truly appreciate it! :D <3 
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:iconsecretdartiste:
SecretDarTiste Featured By Owner May 1, 2017  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks so much for the watch! :love: i really appreciate it! :hug:
Reply
:iconnorthernmyth:
NorthernMyth Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2017  Student Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+devwatch: :heart:
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:iconshcocola:
shcocola Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2017
Haha no problem but would you mind checking out my account too?
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:iconsventine:
Sventine Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
:boing: Thanks for the fav :w00t: :boing:
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:iconjoshbluemacaw:
joshbluemacaw Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2016  Student Filmographer
Thanks for the fave! :)
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:iconicycreep:
icycreep Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016  Hobbyist Artist
thank you so much for the watch ;A; it's really appreciated!! <33 
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:iconstoriel:
Storiel Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2016
thanks for the watch aaa
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:iconmorarthfael:
morArthfael Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2016   General Artist
thank you kindly for the watch! ^^
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:iconlebleuanteater:
LeBleuAnteater Featured By Owner Sep 5, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome!
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